Glen Ames Student Offended by Crossing Guard's Help
November 26, 2015
GLEN AMES - “Who does he think he is?” Exclaimed Reuben Anderson, 13, flush with rage. Reuben told reporters that the Williamson Road crossing guard had been mocking him all week by helping him cross the street. “I’m 13!” yelled the Glen Ames student in protest. “I mean I babysit my little brother sometimes!”
We caught up with Chris [Reuben’s friend] who had this to say. “Reub’s wise beyond his years”, he said matter-of-factly. “He actually taught us all how to grind at last weeks dance. Apparently you’re supposed to move your waste in a figure eight”, Chris smiled.
It is not yet clear whether or not the crossing guard was purposely mocking the mature Anderson. Reports did however confirm that Steve Barnes neglected to assist local Glen Ames teacher Mr. Buckley. We can surmise that if nothing else, Steve demonstrates a strict prejudice toward assisting those under 5 feet. Check back next week as we send our fiercest undercover personality to get the full scoop.