A concerned Beacher did the right thing when she took in a dog found tied up to a post outside the LCBO on Queen Street.
Katie Douter, 43, was the individual who noticed that the orange-haired retriever had been tied up outside the store for nearly 2 minutes. It was 3 degrees out and the dog wasn’t wearing a hoodie, a sweater, not even a single bootie.
"She seemed despondent”, said an emotional Katie, “when she gazed into my eyes, I saw the real her. I could tell there were some deep rooted detachment issues; she was only able to muster a half hearted wag.” She continued, “I tried to save her from the cold, but she kept pulling away…an obvious sign of abuse” Katie lamented, eyes beginning to swell. “At 3 minutes out in the cold, Snuffles [renamed by Katie] was likely hypothermic! I pounced on her and brought her into the safety of my van."
Katie is a known animal shrink, and frequently psychoanalyzes pets for a living. “I just sensed a hidden anxiety, probably due to a burried memory from Snuffles’ past. I bet her owners probably didn’t even go out of their way to get gourmet dog food, it’s a travesty.”
“Snuffles would’ve looked so cute in the little sweater jacket I just bought her, why did they have to take her?”
Community members applauded Katie’s efforts, calling her a guardian angel, the Michael Vick Slapper, Saint Mary. “I’m not a hero”, said a humble Katie, now being taken into custody for dognapping, “I just did what any one of you would have done." “God forbid another dog is ever exposed to weather its body is naturally accustomed to.”