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Biker Reporting People Too Slow For Bike Path

BDWK AREA - Marcel Wilson, 48, was spotted with a stopwatch near the Kew Gardens Tennis Club timing passers by. “Can you believe this?” Marcel gasped, motioning to group of new moms walking side by side with their strollers on the bike path. Marcel has reportedly started a campaign to give the path a minimum speed limit of 5km/h. “Stick to the boardwalk where you belong”, he called after them.

The local man hoped to nip the problem in the bud before the summer tourists came back and the speed of bike path got dangerously slow. He reasoned that it was near impossible for bikers to pass because the grass was, "not clean enough for these fresh road bike tires".

“And what the heck is that contraption?!” Burst Marcel, now chasing down a teenager who was operating some sort of Segway without handle bars. Before parting, he confidently proclaimed that after just two more weeks he'll have enough evidence to go to the city council. Stay tuned as we fellow developments on the story.

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