Local Woman Allows Dog on Bed, Suffers Consequences

Reluctantly patting the foot of her bed, a weary-eyed Dianne Witman allowed her crying German Shepherd up onto the duvet at 12:04 am, Tuesday night. Reports confirmed that Winston [dog] ignored her tired pleas to lie at the end of the mattress, and opted instead to hunker down dead centre of the now hairy, double-sized bed.

“I was too tired to tell him to stand up and move down the bed”, said 46-year-old Witman, now attempting to unwedge her trapped leg, “plus Winston seemed to have fallen asleep upon impact.” At press time, Witman was seen clinging desperately to the small corner of what little duvet she had left, nearly edged off one side of her bed while Winston lay sound asleep. “My son probably misses him", she said with regret, "Winston will be sleeping in his room tomorrow night." Like The Beach Pickle on Facebook for crucial neighbourhood updates.