Area Man 'Stuck a Drift Too Dirty for Words'


KEW GDNS - The first large snowfall came suddenly Tuesday morning - and with it a wave of news stories. Area man Thomas Walker, 18, claims to have “stuck a drift too dirty for words". A Pickle reporter was on hand as he recanted the story to friends before last night’s shinny.

“It was epic”, he told them, seemingly still out of breath from the rush. Walker alleges the drift was flawless; attributing it to a perfect combination of emergency break pressure combined with the raw power of the 2003 model Honda CR-V to make the corner at Silver Birch and Pine Ave.

One witness was still at the scene and available for comment. “He nearly hit me!” yelled a visibly sweaty Ted Abraham. Abraham asserts Walker actually lost control of his vehicle, rotating it a violent 270 degrees before stopping inches from Abraham’s parked car and slowly backing out. “Do you know him?” he yelled after reporters, apparently looking for an apology.

When questioned on what his motivations were, Walker reasoned, “drive it like you stole it”, before winking and skating out onto the rink.

His parents were unaware the vehicle had been taken until late in the evening, suggesting it was in fact stolen.

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