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Local Vending Machine Out of Hickory Sticks

MAIN ST – Tragedy nearly struck venerable Ted Reeve Arena last Friday when several people were overcome with shock after noticing that there were no Hickory Sticks in the lobby vending machine.

“My kid had a shitty, shitty game, and all I wanted was a Snickers bar to rip into,” said 41 year-old Jim Delanney. “Well, after I dropped my twoonie in, I noticed that the Hickory Sticks in E5, which I never ever get, weren't there!”

“I thought, 'What the fuck is going on here?'”

That feeling of dread and despair was shared by longtime arena manager Julie Henderson.

“Those Hickory Sticks in E5 were a mainstay in this arena ever since I began here in 1972. I never had to worry about restocking that row.”

Ted Reeve attendees are reminded yet again to live everyday to the fullest, because life is a cruel mistress who can pounce at any moment.

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