Game of Gluten-Free Scones
"You are in the presence of Denisius Hammersmithius, Queen of the Beach Facebook groups, and the one true ruler of the seven corners of the Beaches realm", announced Wendy Dowhaniker of house Fallingbrook. Denisius sits atop the Iron Lifeguard Station at Leuty, often caught balking at anything that may bother anyone - mainly herself.
"Report!" she beckoned at one of her small counsel.
"There is tension among the common folk, your grace. They grow tired of the war - posts being deleted, comments igniting a backlash from an overly sensitve select few group members. Many of your followers have changed allegiance, taking up arms alongside William "Rob Stark" Rogers after the brutal banning of his father, Eddard, from the group."
The Upper Beachers - known as the Northerners - have grown restless. They warn of the incoming Winter as well as Denisius' Toronto Facebook group tyranny as moderator.
"Up the bounty on anyone speaking badly about our Facebook group", commanded Denisius, "and remind them of my Draconian power to remove and delete."
Now fixing her gaze on a small child, "You - prisoner - come forward". An Upper Beach girl no older than 12 was thrust forward by the Queens Guard. "You posted a picture of a cat in my group, you know I hate cats!"
"Yes, your grace. I just wanted to show everyone how cute he is."
"Remove her this instant! She knows not of spam in my realm."
Asking her group admins Denisius cried, "And what do they say about William 'Rob Stark' Rogers in the North?"
A scared barista spoke up,"They call him the young canine...They say he rides into Facebook arguments on the back of a giant golden retriever...They say he can turn into a retriever himself when he wants... They say he can't be booted from a group."
"I wrote clearly in the group rules about opinions like this I disagree with, completely disallowed!!", shrieked Denisius.
A Young William "Rob Stark" Rogers appears the only thing that can put a stop to Denisius' powerful yet mundane existence in the Beaches realm. Like The Beach Pickle on Facebook for crucial neighbourhood updates.