Beacher Cafe Hires Sgt. Lance Garrison in Preparation of Mother’s Day Rush
May 7, 2016
In an attempt ready front and back house staff for the Mother’s Day rush Sunday, Beacher Cafe management has hired retired military drill Sergeant, Lance Garrison.
“Atteeeention!”, Lance bellowed at an unsuspecting group of bussers, prompting one new hire to drop a full stack of dishes before falling into line for salute.
“Tomorrow we go to war!”, Lance continued. "Now as some of you know”, the sergeant lamented, now softening his tone, "we lost two brave soldiers last Family Day… cracked under the pressure…. that Italian family was just too large to handle at primetime. Tomorrow we need to be ready!" He flipped his attention on a timid 16-year-old server. "Katherine! Drop and give me ten coffee refills and an eggs bene!!"
One 9 year veteran of the company was available for comment. “I think it’s great for the new employees to get training like this. Me, I know what I’m do..”. To which Sergeant Garrison, who sees and hears everything, interjected from across the room, “You think this is a joke maggot?!?!"
Management is confident that Sargent Lance Garrison will have the team ready for the first wave of Mother’s Day families just in time for opening tomorrow.